It was
an ugly tree. Charlie Brown had better
ones. But it was cheap, and our poor-student
purses rejoiced in that. And it was tall. For the first time, we were living in
a place with twelve-foot ceilings, and this one would graze the top. It was big
around, too, but we had room; so it came home with us that year.
Once we
got it inside, though, its true dimensions became clear. It was nearly as wide as it was tall and it dwarfed
the living room. So we cut the bottom
two feet off, where the branches ranged the widest and mooshed it into a
corner.
Still too big. But surely if we put the flattest side into the
corner, we could make do?
Well,
the mostly-flat side had one huge branch sticking out. But if you removed that branch, the tree could
be crammed in the corner, leaving two-thirds of the room to live in. But wait: there was a huge hole on the side
now facing the room. So, in a fit of optimistic creativity we cut off the long branch and duct taped it to the other side of
the tree to fill the hole. Yup. Duct
tape.
And it worked, too. With the bottom trimmed and the hole
filled, the dumpy tree actually looked good.
Probably a C+, and with lights and decorations, it actually looked quite
nice.
Until the cats discovered it. We
had two white cats, picked up as strays. One had two blue eyes, the other a
gold eye and and a blue eye. They were littermates, and the brother with the
blue eyes [Guiseppe] was deaf, and big, and a holy terror. And he loved the
whole idea of his own tree to climb.
For the next two weeks we had to reconstruct
that tree every day. Guiseppe would scamper up that tree like he was a kitten,
and his 15 pounds would crash that tree, trash and scatter the ornaments, and knock
the transplanted branch off altogether. Every day meant more and more dying fir
needles, water cleanup and replacement, and crunched glass. And every day we
would duct tape the branch on and
replace the ornaments.
By the time Christmas came, it was past
time to retire that tree, but to this day I remember it vividly—every messy bit
of it.
And, although it was a terrible thing and it felt like Ground Hog Day revisited, you did it. The cats sound adorable and I love your animal stories! Merry Christmas, Ruth. May it be filled with more wonderful memories.
ReplyDeleteThe same to you, Grace!
DeleteThis is a cute story. My nephew's kittens killed their tree... Luckily they had their Christmas at home already and are heading to the in-laws in Kentucky...lol
ReplyDeleteKittens are a force of nature, aren't they? And to them, a Christmas tree is nothing but FUN FUN FUN!
DeleteLOL! I can relate! I have two rescue cats that run this house! After the first year of their 'tree against me' competition, and picking up that darn tree several times a day, I resorted to having no trees.. the only Christmas decoration I have is a Santa playing Jingle Bells on a trombone. PS.. It has battle scars including a half-chewed belt buckle, ripped glove, and he stands leaning to the left. Merry Christmas blessings!
ReplyDeleteI feel like you told the story of many of our Christmas trees, minus the cats. Last year hubby cut a section of trunk out, inserted a green pipe, and put the top back on the tree. With lots of lights, it was hardly noticeable. Merry Christmas, no matter what shape your tree is in.
ReplyDeletesounds like a brilliant solution! Merry Christmas to you, Jacquolyn!
DeleteOh my gosh! I love this! Please tell me pictures exist of the awesomeness. =)
ReplyDeleteI've heard said that duct tape can fix anything. LOL! I truly enjoyed this post. You painted vivid pictures in my mind's eye.
ReplyDelete