 |
| photo: pexels.com |
As a child, I played Red Rover, kickball, and 4 square. I participated in double Dutch jump rope, Chinese jump rope, hopscotch, tag, and various other games that involved running and jumping.
In high school gym class I shot archery, ran hurdles, played ping-pong, tennis, and even was introduced to gymnastics…I chose the balance beam 3 inches off the floor.
As a mother with two very active boys, I helped with t-ball
 |
| photo: pexels.com |
practices, attended baseball and football games throughout high school, kept the schedules for music lessons, and all the other activities. I’m sure a lot of you can relate to this…
What’s my point? Well, today, 16 years after being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, I know the words RUN, JUMP, DANCE, SING, WRITE. I know the meanings to these words in my head, but my body laughs at me when my brain sends the signal to the parts involved in these actions.
 |
| photo: pexels.com |
No longer can I jump. I couldn’t run, even if my life depended on it. I can no longer dance or sing. Is it that I’ve forgotten how to do these things? No. It’s that the nerve communication connections inside my head, my body can no longer understand. I wonder if this is how a dementia patient feels…trapped inside their own body and mind, knowing what they want to say, but are unable to say it.
My latest fear is that I’ve forgotten how to write. In 2013, I put out 2 books, 2014 saw 2, 2015 was my best writing year at 7, and since then I’ve tried to do 2-3 a year and have succeeded. Yet, there is something that prevents me from putting words on paper, outlining, working on story and character creation.
Plain and simple, I think it is writing burn-out. At least that is
 |
| photo: pexels.com |
my hope and not that it is something else this disease has robbed from me. The stories are there…in my head, it is putting my thoughts down to bring the characters to life. Squirrel moments are more frequent, and my focus is definitely not what it once was.
Does it worry me? Yes—petrifies me, actually. Will I give up? Seriously…not in a million years. It may be just a speed bump, something as simple as needing to rest in the Zen room in my mind.
I don’t want to be that author who takes a break then never returns to what she loves. I can’t put my bahookey in the chair and write, I’m not that author. In my world, it doesn’t happen like that. I need to plot, write out the characteristics of the locations, the people, the relationships before the story is woven together.
 |
| photo: pexels.com |
In the meantime, I edit other author’s manuscripts. In the meantime, I help others make their manuscripts perfection, one word at a time. Who knows, maybe a screenplay class will be taken this summer and I will approach writing from a totally different angle…stay tuned!
Don't you DARE give it up, Grace! You're too talented and have too many stories yet to come! Just take that long-deserved break. The words will come.❤❤❤
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your kind words. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a break is needed, Grace. Be kind to yourself.
ReplyDelete