What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up? by Grace Augustine

     

How many times has this question been asked of you? How many times did you answer with what you thought was the dream job, the place and plan for your life? How many times, even today, do you answer with what you want to be?

When I was a graduating high school senior, my passion was science. I was certain I would go to Gonzaga University in Spokane, Washington and study pathology. I wanted to be the person who discovered the cures for diseases, who wanted to be on the cutting edge of medicine.
     It didn’t happen. Gone were the aspirations of becoming a famous researcher. Gone were my dreams of leaving little ol’ Cut Bank, Montana…population 6000. Instead, I began work as a secretary for a title and abstracting office. I soon was pulling chains of title, updating abstracts, and underwriting title insurance. It was interesting, but it wasn’t my dream.
     

Like every little girl, we all dream of marriage and family, too. In 1981, marriage happened and in 1982 my first son was born. But, it wasn’t my dream. I worked part-time church secretary jobs and was a full-time mom. My passions changed from test tubes to Sesame Street and Reading Rainbow, cuddling my child as he recited the colors and numbers.

     Time flew, and another baby entered my life four years later. My passions changed again as I taught a very inquisitive 4 yr. old and cared for a colicky baby.
     School happened, thankfully, and that allowed me to be in the workforce, again doing secretarial work part-time and doing daycare the other hours. I moved to full-time positions when the boys were in high school and then left for college.
     

     Changes happen as months and years leave us, and I found myself yet again at another crossroads. No longer test tubes, no longer motherhood, no longer secretarial. Now it was floral design. (It’s amazing how much math is used in floral design.) I stayed with this field of work until 2015 when my body could no longer handle the stress and the adrenaline rushes from holidays and long hours.
     We circle to the present. I think of medical research. Lord knows in the past 16 years I’ve done more than I ever thought possible because of living with Multiple Sclerosis. Maybe those earlier dreams were preparing me for my current time. Would I like to dabble in chromosomes and blood spin-downs? Of course, but that isn’t the road I am to walk.
     I am where I am supposed to be…writing words for my own stories, editing the words of other authors to make their stories better, and living a lifestyle that is semi-stress free. Dreams, I still have them but rarely act on them, because after all I am a realist. My dreams involve things my body can no longer accomplish. 

     

Am I where I want to be? Hands down, resounding yes. I can’t think of a better place than where I am at this moment in my life. Am I what I want to be? Possibly. I think the better question is: Am I WHO I want to be? I can’t answer that because I evolve every moment of every day into a better person than I was yesterday. My prayer is that by doing so those around me are affected in such a way that they, too, want to be a positive difference to someone in their circle.

This article originally appeared in the April edition of the Scribbling Divas Newsletter. Photos are courtesy of pexels.com or from personal images.