Tuesday, Sept. 3rd, I took a deep breath and began a new journey. You might remember my announcement last month that I've decided to retire from cover design so I will have more time to devote to family matters and to more fully pursue my own writing. Well, as of Tuesday, the entire Boulanger Tribe is either in school or back at work... and that includes me. I got all caught up on laundry, made a meal plan that I seem to be sticking to, set a word count goal and have spent two glorious days adding to my current writing project.
Keep in mind that I have battled back and forth with myself for weeks over whether I made the right decision. Perhaps I should have retired from writing to focus fully on the cover designs for others... but I couldn't do that. I have a saying: Writers can't NOT write. Yes, I know that will probably make my editor scream, but it says it exactly as I believe. When a writer has a story inside him or her, it simply has to come out. It has to be written, and with every cover I willing and happily designed for someone else, my dream of working on my own stories was growing in strength.
Now, I do not regret the time I have spent designing covers in the least. I LOVE working with other authors whether it's as a designer or a fellow author and feel the time has helped me grow in so many ways, especially as a writer. So, now, I have to believe in myself and follow my dreams.
Whew! That is a hard thing to do! I don't know many authors who don't feel at least a modicum of angst when releasing a book... and I've worked with and am friends with some pretty big writers! It's scary and the what ifs start slamming you from every side. So much so that on Monday evening I told my dear friend Grace Augustine that I wasn't sure I could do this, that I was doubting my skills as a writer, and that I thought maybe I was making a mistake.
What she told me calmed me more than even she might have imagined. First, she told me to stop it! But it was this little quote that really drove home what I needed to do: "Change your thoughts and you change your world." ~Normal Vincent Peale.
She couldn't have chosen better words to have gotten through to me. I knew then that I couldn't let my fears of the unknown stop me from following my dream.
I have a plan. I've set it in motion. And I've changed my thinking... I fully believe in my dream and my abilities to pull it off.
In a future post, I will tell you about what I'm working on. The research has been fascinating and I'm anxious to share what I've learned. Until then, unlike the little engine that said, "I think I can," I will keep telling myself, "I know I can. I know I can." until I can say "I knew I could." I'm excited! And, as always, thank you for being a part of my dream.
