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I gave myself a blog assignment months ago in the hopes that I could impart a valuable aspect of the 8 limbs of yoga. What I found was perhaps one of my biggest hurdles. I wanted to share something about Bramhacharya, one of the restraints in the first limb. However, I discovered that because I am still in the throes of finding my own way through this idea I am having a difficult time writing about it. Successful authors say you should write about what you know and so I can only write about my struggles with this concept.
Bramhacharya is one of the yamas, and guides us to properly use our energy. In past times this might have included a vow of celibacy to reserve sexual energy. Some still choose this path but others might instead choose to raise families. The over-riding message however is to use your energy wisely. Along those lines, the Western culture, for the most part, teaches us to study hard, get a good paying job, buy a house, find a lifetime partner, have kids. You know, the 2.5 kids and a couple of cars in the garage life. Oh, don't forget to save up for the vacations. There is nothing wrong with this picture, if this is what you WANT.
However, if you are running yourself ragged and are getting NO JOY from this path, then yoga offers you an opportunity to look at life differently. I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with going for these ideals, but yoga can offer ways of going after them with a little less urgency and stress. We can take a pause and contemplate how we approach our goals with a little more space and breath.
For such a long time, I chased these ideals and made some good headway. But at the end of the day, I often felt "less than" and underwhelmed by my advances. I was comparing my insides to others outsides and that is never a winning combination. I used alcohol and food to cover up how I felt and that of course just made things worse. I was eventually able to find help but yoga is what really made the difference for me and I'm talking Yoga with a capital "Y". Along with learning how to do the asanas (yoga poses), I learned how to meditate, create and monitor my energy with pranayama (breathing exercises) and find a community of like-minded people to practice with as well as gain a greater understanding of the 8 limbs.
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Right use of energy still catches me up. I go through phases of getting organized, you know, buying one of those planners where you write down your goals and break them down into tasks and then schedule the tasks to accomplish your goals. They're great but they take constant grooming and I find that I fall off the wagon... I'd like to blame it on being a Pisces and getting sidetracked on some other shiny object but honestly, I think I just lose interest. This is where discipline comes in and alas, where I struggle.
Who determines what is the right use of one’s energy? If someone sets a goal of earning a six figure salary, they may have to use their energy working long hours, spending time convincing others of their ideas. This may feel right, good and satisfying. I believe if you fall on your pillow at night, satisfied by your effort, you have used your energy well. If you are replenished by the work you do, you are right where you need to be.
If however, you find yourself working countless hours, have sleepless nights and are receiving no return for your energetic investment, you are only injuring yourself. Some will see this injury manifest as emotional hurt such as resentment, some will see it as physical injury and others may suffer from more serious mental anguish. This is not a good use of your energy and should be amended ASAP. This is a place where going on a nourishing retreat can make all the difference in the world. I'm also a big proponent of yoga nidra, a powerful tool to restore energy and help get you on track with your deepest purpose in life.
I'm certainly no expert on this subject, merely another trekker on the journey. I recognize how valuable your energy is. Do not squander it on mere trifles and yet DO stop and smell the roses, gaze up at the beautiful crescent moon and listen to the sound of children laughing.
