Where Am I Looking? ~ by Author Marj Ivancic

I recently attended a friend’s yoga class in her wooded backyard. It was wonderful to be outside, listening to the birds singing in the trees, the breeze drifting through the branches overhead. It felt so very natural when she had us move into Vrikshasana, or Tree Pose.

Anyone who’s tried to stand on one leg knows that the trick to maintaining your balance is to keep your eyes locked on a steady point either straight ahead or on the ground in front of you. I started out that way, but I found myself distracted by the gal ahead of me, and it was dominos from there. She wavered, caught herself, then over compensated and lost the pose. And try as I might to ignore her wobbling, to root my toes into the ground and “become” the tree, I too teetered one side to the other, finally dropping my foot down to steady myself.

As I admonished myself for not focusing, it brought to mind a Facebook thread I read the other day. In one of the many author groups, a writer posted a question/topic something along the lines of—“I just published my first book. It took me a year to write it. But I see that many authors put out 3 or 4 books in that time. I’m so slow…”

The worry and unhappiness in her words as she questioned her abilities and her right to play in the indie author arena stayed with me long after the reading was done. Probably because they resonated with many of my own fears.
Then, in my moment of “yoga failure,” it hit me. I realized that the  author had done what I had just done. She took her eyes off the focal point that kept her steady—herself. She shifted her attention from herself, from her own hard work and success to someone else’s. And as a result, her mental and emotional equilibrium began to wobble.

It is no easy feat keeping Pride, Humility, and Confidence from seesawing, not just in the indie author world, but in life in general. Comparing and judging come too easy.

Look up to someone, and your confidence is at risk of lowering.

Look down on someone, and you’ll notice your pride skyrocketing and your humility plummeting.

That’s not to say you can’t admire someone or seek to improve yourself. Role models are an important part of evolution and growth. But they are meant to be educational, not destructive. And ensuring they stay so is up to you.

When we keep focused on ourselves, on our own improvements and accomplishments, we can stay balanced. And when we are balanced, we are content and comfortable with who we are and where we’re going. We don’t need to worry about what others think.

So, we should be vigilant and ask ourselves often—where am I looking?


  1. Thank you for reminding me of this. I so often take my eyes off the prize because of words said or looks given. When if only I kept my eyes where they should be I'd be is a much better frame of mind and heart. :)

    1. Believe me, Grace, I am 100% guilty of this too!!! I constantly have to tell myself - someone else's victories are not my failures. ❤️

  2. I LOVE this!! Thank you, Marj, for the reminder. I needed it, especially today.

    1. Thanks you, Kristine! I hope you know how wonderful you are!

  3. LOVE this!!! Thanks, Marj. You always know how to inspire me!

    1. My friend, you are always inspiring me! You always boost me up! Thank you!

  4. Great reminders. Especially now, it is very important to stay strong within ourselves.

    1. Great way to put it! Stay strong within yourself.❤️

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