Schnauzer Schenanigans (Sic) by Ruth Ross Saucier

In 1977 we bought a ‘40s bungalow in Seattle. It was small and decidedly a fixer, but it came with a classic knotty pine basement, two small bedrooms, and a large yard. The floors were adorned with gold shag carpet in the living room; gold, orange, and brown indoor-outdoor carpet (glued down) in the dining room; and green linoleum with gold flakes in the kitchen. Ghastly.

However, under the carpet-of-ages we discovered solid oak floors that were a good four inches deep and untouched. A do-it-yourself project was born.

Schnauzers are the enemy of all carpets, and it was past time that the gold shag and indoor-outdoor carpet got pulled out.  The job was disgusting and sneeze-inducing.  But the worst job was mine: removing the glued-down indoor-outdoor carpet was a nightmare.  Every square inch required convincing.

The next day we started the sanding and the cleaning and on the third day, our goal was two layers of polyurethane in one day. I plead youth and stupidity. But by 9:00 the living room, dining room, and hall floors had two coats of polyurethane. We were exhausted, starved, and cramped up, despite our youth.

The Gang of Six schnauzers had been cooped up most of the day. We let them out for a potty run and then shut them back into a room with a dog gate while we drove three blocks to the closest local restaurant for a quick dinner. 

When we returned at 10:00, they had broken out.  First time ever. Dog gates had ALWAYS worked until that night.

The entire floor was still very lightly sticky-damp with the last coat of polyurethane, but it now had a distinct furry footprint pattern. The little meatheads had broken through the gate, scampered everywhere over the sticky floors, and were now acting ashamed and cowed, their very furry paws all stiff and sticky.

Exhausted, we tried washing their paws, but the fur was dry, stiff, and prickly; we ended up trimming them (all 24). The dogs then went on lockdown and we rushed to save the floor by the quick addition of a third coat of poly while the second coat was still damp.*  Our own footprints didn’t help, but the tactic worked.  

The floors were finished by midnight. . . and so were we.

*(The floors turned out great. We were terrified that if we let it dry, the imprints would not even sand out unless we completely obliterated the two coats that we’d struggled all day to finish.)